The article is about 2 undergraduates from UCL and their experiences in jobs after graduation. One is an insurance broker in Cologne and another is a bowling alley attendant. So someone comments and says:
"There's lots of lessons to be learnt from this. First is to be flexible in where your skills can be applied - from history to insurance company in Cologne, Germany. From neuroscience to bowling alley.
But its also a case of sacrifice to get on the career ladder - no one is giving out free lunches. Katherine had to leave friends and family and familiarity behind to go live and work in Germany. Kiki put in long hours at a full time job at a recruitment company - but unfortunately couldn't cut it out with 12-16 hours, hours that lots of people actually work in London."
I'm taking issue with this bit: "Katherine had to leave friends and family and familiarity behind to go live and work in Germany." Sometimes I take things personally and I get mad and I have to get mad somewhere (I could go exercise, or manage my time, or do the laundry... but that is besides the point.) The point is that I'm a little angry. I know I won't be angry about this tomorrow, but I feel like this warrants me saying something.
According to the internet, I am 6740.23 miles = 10847.05km away from singapore right now. If that's not "leaving friends and family and familiarity behind", I don't know what is. I'm just angry (and I know this is a relative thing) that Katherine is lauded for leaving England, and it sounds like such a ~dramatic~ change, but for pete's sake; Cologne is just a 2 hour flight away; you can go back for christmas, easter, long weekends; whenever you want. I can't go home whenever I want because a flight home is at least 12 hours away and costs about £563 if I went back in the summer. Well, the long and short of it is that I don't understand why it's so ~noble and brave~ for Katherine to move 2 hours away, and for me it's the expected thing.
Because sg is so far away, I can't go back every holiday. I did just go back in december to get my visa done or else they'd forcibly ship me back, but after that I can't afford to go back. (I'm not sure if this is the bravado in me talking.) I also don't want to go back because it's disruptive to my adjustment and settling in; I can't take any long-term jobs or volunteering stints if I went back after every term. People usually go home in the summer, because the summer holidays are so long-- my school breaks in mid-june and only starts again in late september. I'm not planning to go back this summer at least, and I've already thought about this when I knew I was going to be in singapore for christmas.
Instead of flying to singapore, I'm doing the privileged thing by flying to chicago instead! woooop. On one hand, it's a "sacrifice" because I sacrificed going to singapore in the summer to spend time with family and "familiarity" to go to chicago. On the other hand, it's not a sacrifice at all; it's a treat even, to go to leakycon. It's funny, though, that I know that when I'm in leakycon it will be very familiar to me, even though I've never visited chicago in my life. It's not the city per se, but the people, the activities, and the environment that will feel familiar and comfortable. I could go so far as to say that I feel that the transient virtual thing called the internet and fandom is my home, because when I was in secondary school and JC I never felt at home, and never felt that I fit in, even though it was the place where I grew up.
It was precisely because of this reason that when I first moved to London, I didn't see moving away from my home country as a very big deal. For years I've been wanting to move away from singapore, because I felt that I didn't belong. So when people tell me, "oh, it must be hard to be so far away from home." I would answer that I didn't really mind being far away. To a large extent this was true, because I mostly don't feel any strong, rooted connection to singapore. But after a few months away, you start missing things, and I started missing the connections that I had been making since Nov 2009. The friendships that you've spent time and emotional investment in, can't be replicated with people you've just known.
It was precisely because of this reason that when I first moved to London, I didn't see moving away from my home country as a very big deal. For years I've been wanting to move away from singapore, because I felt that I didn't belong. So when people tell me, "oh, it must be hard to be so far away from home." I would answer that I didn't really mind being far away. To a large extent this was true, because I mostly don't feel any strong, rooted connection to singapore. But after a few months away, you start missing things, and I started missing the connections that I had been making since Nov 2009. The friendships that you've spent time and emotional investment in, can't be replicated with people you've just known.
It was only in those last two years in sg that I realised that singapore wasn't this bleak place that my adolescent mind had made it out to be. There were people who were enthusiastic about art and writing and books and creating, who didn't care what you got for your A levels or which school you went to; there was even good music in singapore which I had missed out on. There is even a small but wonderful and supportive (also sometimes incestuous :P) LGBTQ environment that I didn't know about until I looked for it. Sometimes I think I got so settled in to the "scene" in singapore that it was hard for me to remember how much time it took for me to get adjusted in the first place.
That's why I miss singapore a little bit. I miss the cheap (and good) food, booksactually, the pigeonhole, the substation, club st, DYMK, the arts house, CBTL. I hate that I am missing out (and have missed out) on events like the M1 Fringe Fest, Arts Fest, Night Fest, SWF2011, Spring Awakening, and just THINGS that I would normally go to and be involved in if I were still living there. They were things that made me learn and made me happy from volunteering with them. I miss going to poetry readings and being able to point out silly things like, "oh that's Ng Yi-Sheng, that's Yong Shu Hoong" and so-and-so that you would see attending artsy things regularly. There would be my sec 1 drama teacher who sat next to me when I watched my friend's play at the esplanade, and who turned up at the short playwriting festival that I volunteered at.
It's strange, saying now that I miss the people and the community, when all the time when I was in singapore was complain about how small the scene was.
Back to my point! I miss singapore a little. Yes, I'm jealous of people who get to go home during half-term. My egoistic self wants someone to tell her that she's doing this noble thing and enduring hardship and because she's 6740.23 miles away from home that makes it even more laudable. The egoistic self also thinks that it's not fair that Katherine is praised and she is not. But the proud self with bravado also doesn't want others to pity her, saying that she's all alone, away from home, so poor thing. The proud self wants to say that she's adjusting very well to living on her own, thank you very much, and she doesn't need any sympathy.
I feel two different things, and like Esther Earl said, sometimes it helps to talk about feelings. I've gotten this off my chest. Thanks for reading till the end.
Back to my point! I miss singapore a little. Yes, I'm jealous of people who get to go home during half-term. My egoistic self wants someone to tell her that she's doing this noble thing and enduring hardship and because she's 6740.23 miles away from home that makes it even more laudable. The egoistic self also thinks that it's not fair that Katherine is praised and she is not. But the proud self with bravado also doesn't want others to pity her, saying that she's all alone, away from home, so poor thing. The proud self wants to say that she's adjusting very well to living on her own, thank you very much, and she doesn't need any sympathy.
I feel two different things, and like Esther Earl said, sometimes it helps to talk about feelings. I've gotten this off my chest. Thanks for reading till the end.
