Right now I'm listening to the promo of Wild Swans, this new play in london that Katie Leung is in. I don't know if I should see it. I don't usually watch plays. haha the last time I really remember one was Short+Sweet, this playwriting competition in singapore in july 2010. Oh I went to watch Wicked in december 2011 in singapore. But that doesn't really count as a "play" play, because I knew what to expect. Well it doesn't really count for me, I guess. Because when watching new bands or plays or going out to see someone new do something, it's always a gamble. You don't know whether it's going to be good or bad, whether you'll like it or not, if you'll enjoy yourself or not. hum.
In singapore we have a vibrant-ish theatre scene, I like to think. Well sometimes you see the same people going to these artsy things. Darran had a theory about this. We'd go to something and he'd point out people he'd seen before. Then I'd look out for people too. Once someone chatted me up. For some reason when I first started going out to these things alone, or with other people in the evenings, I found them to be really thrilling. If you've watched An Education, and how Jenny goes, "that was the best night of my life". I used to think that way, about going out at night to see gigs or whatever. like *___*. like this song:
(also they're easy on the eyes. Doesn't hurt. :P )
Now I find it harder and harder to feel these things. the *___* feeling. I need to find a word for this. Enchanted? in awe? A combination of both. The really light, happy feeling. Only you're not drunk. haha oddly I was rarely drunk on these occasions. Because these things would be at Substation or The Arts House or something, and they're not like bars where you go to watch a gig and you have to buy a drink, they were arts venues, with no bar.
[Today for dinner I had a box of cherry tomatoes and a 300g container of peanut sauce coleslaw and I feel so full. It's so weird. Usually I'll need more to make me full. But anyway.]
Maybe it's because I'm feeling nostalgic, and it's my memory that's making these nights so idyllic. But I really would go home, just straight after the thing happened, in a happy buzz and feel like I've found a place in singapore where I belonged. I would think, "oh my gosh I can't believe I did this today." or "oh my gosh I can't believe this thing exists in singapore." Nowadays I feel so "meh" about things. Maybe because I feel conditioned not to be excited about things, or not to show that excitement because it's then not cool. I don't think that's it, though, because I also knew how to hide my excitement then.
I want to have that feeling again, here! and you would think that it's easier because london seems like such a ~metropolitan city~. But I'm not feeling it. The *__* feeling. (I need to find a word for it soon.) I know why! it's because I'm older? I'm grasping at straws here. Yeah. Maybe because I've seen a little bit more than my 17 year old self has seen? I don't know. I definitely have higher expectations, now, just because ~London~ is this famous city that everyone thinks is wonderful because everything happens here. When I have high expectations, it's easier for me to be disappointed.
I had really low expectations for singapore's music scene, to be honest. That's why when I found the Pinholes and B-Quartet, I liked them so much and was so impressed. Oh and The Observatory too, but that's later. I'm trying to be acquainted with the local music scene in london, but it's a little hard, because there are so many people. Like literally it's mind blowing for me to have 5 or 6 gigs going on, on a weeknight even (as seen on the london in stereo tumblr), when in singapore, you'd have a good gig maybe every two weeks or once a month at most. Well, "good" by my standards and tastes-- I don't listen to really tough, get-deaf punk metal, or electronica, or DJs at a club stuff-- and I'm pretty picky.
Now I'm really thinking and I know why. haha when I first moved to london, I went to ALL of the student union things. and then I partied more than I would usually, in an effort to "get out" and socialise. haha silly me. I guess when you have them too often it becomes old.
OH WAIT I remember a *___* night that was not a year ago. That time when I went to a house party when I was in ucla in august. haha. It was one with the summer students living in the apartment blocks I was in. That was fun. I liked that.
OH WAIT I remember a *___* night that was not a year ago. That time when I went to a house party when I was in ucla in august. haha. It was one with the summer students living in the apartment blocks I was in. That was fun. I liked that.
Ok I think today's post is too long. And I'm sleepy. House party story tomorrow maybe. Or if I feel like talking about something else.
I know what you mean. But every once in a while you get that night that makes up for every other night that didn't bring the (ecstatic?) *___* feeling.
ReplyDeleteyeah, I guess it does happen.
Deletesometimes the "chocolate makes broccoli taste bad" analogy applies here. When you have bad nights you value the good ones.