I'm watching/listening to the first video of the Lizzie Bennet Diaries for the third time now. I don't know what it is about it, but I really like the clean editing, and the humor, and Lizzie's southern accent. I'm fascinated by the southern accent, like how Devin Lytle from starkid does it. Lydia is adorable! Pride and Prejudice put me off because it was so fluffy and superficial. Though now I want to give it another shot. Also because apparently everybody has read it. I'm not really into the bronte sister stuff~ I had to read Jane Eyre for A levels and I didn't like how whiny and silly jane was being. Although it kind of gives you context for other literary works. Like Daphne DuMaurier's Rebecca, and Wide Sargasso Sea, which I'm supposed to have read but haven't got round to doing so.
My pay-as-you-go phone plan expired on tuesday. It's thursday today. I haven't gotten around to buying a new one. I have to do this every 30 days. Shows how much of a productive person I am. When I'm not on the plan I can't text or call without it being ridiculously expensive, but it doesn't really bother me anyway, since I don't need to text or call anyone at the moment. I never use up all of the texts in my plan. Don't even bring up the minutes. It's the cheapest one they've got, though. I'm such a socialite.
Today I realised that I've been sitting at home for at least a whole week now, without getting anything done. I should do something. I mean I did the groceries yesterday and the laundry a few days back but it's not really anything. I don't know what to do with my work. It's supposed to be easy, but I'm stalling because it involves going out and doing things. Well not really. Because it involves talking to people. No, that's not the reason either.
I always feel really miserable and sorry for myself before a deadline. I'm trying to guilt-trip myself into doing work. Then after the deadline when I don't hand anything in I feel miserable and guilty. Post-deadline guilt is the worst guilt to have. Beats post-murder guilt. No, I can't say that, I haven't killed any human before. I didn't hand in the essays that were due in january. I had loads and loads of time but I just didn't do them. I attempted them, but I didn't finish. I just sat at home and didn't allow myself to go out until they were done. Which was never.
After that I didn't allow myself to not submit any coursework. Shit I can't even remember if I handed in this term's coursework for introsoc. I can't remember anything. So I really have to submit this term's essays in time. Otherwise I'll have to resit this year. Which is stupid.
BEDA isn't going too well, is it? It went a lot better in 2011 and 2009 I guess.
Sorry I've been such a debbie downer. Am going to continue to be until at least 23 april.
I think BEDA is going great! Just keep your spirits lifted, no need to be down ;)
ReplyDeleteIf punishing yourself for not working doesn't help, try giving yourself incentives!
You can do it! Just go for it. I expect a productivity report tomorrow :D